So BoingBoing states yesterday was the Talk like a Pirate day.
Brought back fond memories of a QuickBasic program I had written a long time ago (obviously anything I wrote in QuickBasic was a looooooong time ago).
It took a simple text file and replaced specific words with a punk version of the same.
I called it punktext, could still be a piratetext or pirateslang equivalent. Circa 1997.
If you care, download here.
Warning, it is DOS based, so unzip the files, and run it from the command prompt.